non compos mentis

2003-04-30T03:30:00.000-07:00

hi. hmmm... to whom? to anyone who's reading this i guess. this is just gonna be one rambling entry of thoughts.

Friends.
I miss my friends. Lenny, Faridah, Sham, Mamak, Din, Ada, Syiqin, Arab, classmates frm poly... all of 'em, Peck, Jaye, Vincent, Edmund.... Joses, KaiYun, Ismail, Faizal, Maria, WeiQin, Sook Boon.... damn. I miss all this people and more. Life just doesn't cease to amaze me. How time passes by so quickly, how, when i'm typing this entry, how parallel our lives are, what my friends are doing rite at this point of time. I miss the time when... there were no responsibilities, no worries, except for damn blardy exams, who i've got a crush on, am i gonna pass, what events are going on in school... training.... hmph... this is life. i guess. Going on and on and wondering wat your pals are doing and then feeling the pinch/ the.... the loss of it. Feeling that sense of 'innocence'....

SARS
Bloddy sars outbreak. Dampen our economy, and breaking our rice bowls. Damn. Nothing much for me to expound on. Its going on already in the news. Circulating all around the world. Abt the effect and consequence of this blardy disease.

May Day Tomorrow.
And i'm down wid mc. For FOUR days. First time i've had something so long. But due to the outbreak. Everyone's not taking any chances. I wonder if it'll ever be necessary for us to wear masks as a compulsory measure?

Migrating
I wanna migrate. Away frm singapore. I wanna be in a place where i'm well taken care of when i'm in my prime, past the age of retirement and my kids are well taken care off. Away frm this hustle and bustle of a paper chasing society.

KL Trip
Can't wait for the KL trip this weekend. Hope it'll be good. Gonna just enjoy myself.

Interviews
Going for interviews next mon. Hope i get the one at Awills also. Need a new job.

Adios.

2003-03-22T21:01:00.000-08:00

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!

Hey all. this will be the end. Can't really maintain the site due to work and all. Thks to all who have been stopping by once in a while. But no worries. Visits will still be done to all the peeps yar ( when i log on lah... hehe )!

Once again. Thks y'all...

Lotsa hugs and kisses,
Juliah

2003-03-02T18:47:00.000-08:00

power of the flu bug

azhar's best fren got married ytd. the akat nikah was on sat. couldn't attend the ceremony ytd cuz of work, so rushed dwn after work on sat to see them on the akat nikah. erm.... akat nikah is the wedding solemnization. its normally carried out one day before the wedding ceremonies which are held mostly at the viod decks. verriee merry event.

went up to the bride's room while the groom hung out with the guys. was talking to her and everything abt the ceremony and things that has been happening. poor girl. mum was diagnosed with kidney failure just a few mths back and she's just so worried. a joyous occasion marred by an event that was unexpected. but outta every bad there must come a good. as wat i told her. if i was in her shoes i'd be like so freaking depressed too... but... the show has to go on huh? ceremony went on as per normal, honeymoon to europe to proceed tmr... just wishing her to be strong and for them newlyweds the best in life.

so. today is my off day. was so tired last week i had to take an mc cuz i just couldn't get my body outta the bed. today, i'm not feeling at all well, cuz i think i caught the flu bug frm the bride. was in her room talking to her the other nite, and i think i've caught it. nose waterworks, seeing phlgem, and my throats itchy. hope i can pull it thru for this week. having good hotels this weekend. hope will boost up my sales. dun wanna have this sickenss interuptting my week...

missing all my frens. yes ellsie. i'm still busy... sorrie. as i mentioned, i'm still trying to get used to my work. its only a 8 to 5 working hrs, but there's lotsa walking, and last min orders to do and u wake up abt 5am, latest 6, and sometimes you finish work abt 7. its my first mth, so i'm trying to get the hang of things... so... once i'm settled and all, i'll meet up wid u peeps.

aight then. gotta do up my hsework and all. supposed to have training and i'm feeling like crap, so we'll see. missed the last two training sessions and i'm feeling like a beached whale. feefihohum.

2003-02-23T03:30:00.000-08:00

sleep deprived

paid my first taxi fares. tours that are wrongly booked/not arranged properly, can end up with us, CSOs (Customer ServiceOfficer) having to cough up the cab fare... there are actually loads of stupid policies that we can make away with... and its not really as if we are earning big bucks. i'm a real pauper now and money will only be coming in April. provided my sales are ok.

i feel so deprived of sleep. yet my body seems to have an automatic alarm clock that seems to awaken every 2 hrs or so. maybe cuz i'm so afraid to wake up late and getting to work late. thus causing me to take a cab. i serve my guests while craving for the much needed rest. can't really slack off much. unless i'm in a slower place.

it's a real eye-opener ya noe? to meet so many different types of people. to face humourous people as well as facing challenges, like unhappy guests. i all felt 'oh-so-good' when in the end they smile at you and say 'thank you'. that was great satisfaction. i guess i'm still full of enthusiasm for the job. some of my colleagues of 1 yr are already so tired. as i mentioned. maybe because of the policies and the staff in the office.

however, after working in the office for a day, i can understand at least 1/5th of the frustration that they have to go thru every day. well. work is always like that, and we just have to put ourselves in the other person's shoes....

on another note.

i'm just so freaking tired. maybe that's why. i dunnoe. i'm all happy seeing you you know? coming all the way dwn and not even complaining some. sigh. i might just be a total freak of nature. just not seemingly able to trust you fully, yet so trusting and naive to others.

i just hate myself sometimes.

2003-02-06T20:13:00.000-08:00

SALE

Hi all.

I need to sell off a sofa bed. Still in very good condition. Will try to put up a pic of it asap. But it looks something like thisTANNE 2-Seater Sofa-Bed. Except the cushions for mine are striped instead of plain. Price can be discussed. So anyone interested, pls leave me a msg or email me @ juse_153@yahoo.com.

2003-02-05T21:19:00.000-08:00

3D Wonderland

has anyone been to the any IMAX shows at Great World City? Really cool. We watched 'Into the deep End' bout life underwater. and it was REALLY wierd. the types of animal life and such. the beautiful schools of mackeral... urgh... got me itching to go snorkelling again!! couldn't really remember the location of the area that they filmed, but there was kelp/seaweed, the height of tall office buildings can u imagine how deep the ocean is???

the tix costs $11 for adults on weekdays and i think $13 on weekends. But it was worth it. Pretty short tho'. Will be waiting for the space shuttle one. that'll be interesting... so anyways, my mood wasn't very.... "rite", have been pretty moody due the past few days. been quarelling with him over petty issues. was pretty happy that ytd turned out pretty good (unexpectedly). must be the freaking pms... sheesh.

well after the show, we went too do some shopping. visited the hardware store. bought this wire zipper thingy. cuz i have wires all over the place. it works! easily too... gonna get somemore for the various rooms. also bought this "window sticker"? dunnoe wats the correct term. but anyways, i'm not plannig to use curtains, so gonna put this up on my see thru window. another amazing thing i bought is this Goo Gone Sticker Lifter. It removes remains of double sided tapes on walls or gum or stickers on glasses that are just stubborn.
I used to have these posters on my wall, and used these dble sided tapes. after a while they just harden, and well, this product does take it off. including old blue tac. so i'm actually pretty satisfied. =)

i'm a real sucker for these things and i'm just oohing and aahing when i saw the products in the hardware store. issue here being that i wanna redo my room diy, so i was looking out for stuff to help me cover up the holes in my wall and wood varnish. gonna pop by IKEA asap. already have a list of sctuffs to get. maybe i'm just nuts. but i always have this tingledown my spine when i go to places like ikea. home decorating stores. i'll like set my eye on something and have an idea of where the thing might fit in my room... hehe... weird. its the same for me when i go grocery shopping. i'd see foodstuffs and think of the things that i can cook with it etc... yeah. yeah. i think i'm pretty wierd. *shrugs*

in any case. the first thing on my list is to get me a bed by early march. then i can start purchasing the rest of the items... heheheh...*rubs hands gleefully* prob now is i have a 'chauffeur' but no vehicle to cart the things hme. o well. when the time comes.

oh yes. a happy happy thing! I'm STARTING WORK NEXT MON!!!! hahaha! income income. be working at Sans Tour as i THINK tour consultant. wellwell. basic is pretty small, at only $400. Commission based. o well. at LEAST i'll be working. that's the impt part. money into the pocket at least.... whew... hope i dun freak out when i start out on my own.... =p

2003-02-03T06:26:00.000-08:00

Aching shoulders and throbbing headaches

Happy Chinese New Year!! okieokie... *rolls eyes* three days late only what... ceh... days were spent visiting my ah yis (aunties) and ah gus(uncles). the past two days went by pretty fast. visited my ah ma (maternal grandma) and met my aunties and uncles there... ang bao collection started liao!! ^-^ haven't met a coupla my cousins, all grown up. blink of an eye and already in secondary schools. most of 'em. i feel so ooooollldddd. as my mom's the eldest in her family, my siblings and i are the eldest cousins. so, i am the eldest and the rest are all my brother's age and younger. thus, this is the first time that i feel so... 'stuck in the middle' the young ones have their stories and the 'old folks' have their stories. i am just stuck. but in a good way i guess....

well, we aren't very close to my mom's side due to the cultural barrier and the fact that it's literally ONCE a year that we meet up with them, unless when my aunts come by to makan at my place during Raya, so, the communication gap is naturally there. However, this year. hmmm.... i think there IS some form of change here... maybe cuz all the kids have grown up, so, barriers are broken down as they have more in common to talk abt, as for the adults? well.... i guess time is REALLY a healing factor. any form of despise/hatred/prejudice.... takes time to break down.... and well... maybe a fun session of karaoke! hehe... it was pretty fun to see this particular uncle who always looks so stern singing and laughing along with my dad. it was a really nice change and even tho' i had to sit thru a good 2 hrs of mic distortion and uncomfortable sounds of singing.... it was still pretty fun. =)

as for today, just came back frm visiting my netball mate's place. one of 'em gave birth on the 22nd ( congrats girl! ) and i was cringing listening to her birth experience... 22 hrs of labour and in the end ending up with caesarian... scary sia. no strenuous activity for six mths as they have to make sure that the internal is healed properly.... *shudders* imagine the pain our mothers go thru having to give birth to us.....

than, we headed to another mate's place, where we ended up playing mahjong. haha. i tried my hand at it and i'm glad to say that i think i'm having a hand at it, tho lots more practice is necessary. played one set and i ended up with a headache and a slight ache in my shoulder. but it was pretty fun, and you really have to be very alert and think fast. hmmm... must really consider practicing more. lotsa mahjong kakis in this team... *grinz* the headache is also attributed to the pain in my teeth... dunnoe what's happening but it's sometimes throbs pretty badly. sheetz. gonna be calling up mr dentist tmr.

nite y'all. sweet dreams.

2003-01-29T23:14:00.000-08:00

Oooowwwwwwwwwwwww...... and a swollen cheek

painpainpainpainPAIN. did the damn surgery ytd. remarks frm my dentist? "Hmmm... you need three stitches okie." ( that was for the lower left wisdom tooth ) and "You've got pretty strong teeth huh? This one is a LONG one" ( that was for the upper left wisdom tooth ).

painpainpainpainPAIN. went to the clinic late. as usual. i'm a perpetual latecomer. sue me. =| fortunately i was in time, cuz Dr Ansar (my dentist) had to leave for another clinic actually.... luckily he could hold it back awhile =p

so, after that everything went by pretty fast, me getting on my seat and well... opening my mouth REALLY wide. the first one that he worked on was the lower left. got 3 jabs and well, the left side of my tongue was like pretty numb too lar.... wierd feeling. by the way, am listening to India Arie now. LOVE this song "VIDEO".

k, back to my surgery... oh yeah, before the surgery, he actually covered my eyes, cuz he said there was like a lotta 'sharp' instruments, which i think would have basically freaked me out should i see these tools going passing by my eyes. SO anyways, to test for the numbness? he actually made a deep poke with a sharp knife. as what he says lar... can you IMAGINE what was GOING THRU MY MIND? I mean, i'm one with a highly hyperactive imagination and it was like.... harrrr?? and he was saying, "okay... so u dun feel any of it rite? good, now i'm going to make a cut at the side of your gums alrite... and i'm sorry to say this but its going to be pretty uncomfortable, because i'm going to start cutting your teeth into small pieces"

as i mentioned earlier, the lower wisdom tooth was lying laterally against my good tooth, causing a right angle. so, it was pretty embedded in my gum, thus, he couldn't just pull it out. So in the end, it think it came out in four pieces, and man... i could hear the drilling and all.... eeeeeeyyyyyyyeeeeerrrrggggghhhhhhh.......

there was some form of pain during the extraction, mostly cuz my mouth was like pulled to one side which really hurt, but was necessary. the upper left was more like a struggle for him. hehe. i could hear it in his voice when he was trying to get that damn tooth out. *snickers* stubborn tooth.

at the end of it all, i've got 1 week mc, which has not much use cuz i'm not working now, and $425 lighter in my bank account. but overall, the Dr Ansar was REALLY attentive and very gentle about the whole procedure. Even called me up in the evening to check on my condition. Thks DOC! now i'm just putting up with a swollen cheek. feel like i got punched in the face... so anyways, gotta get my stitches out nxt week... sigh... 2 dwn, 1 more to go! i think it's the experince is gonna be a much easier one to go thru...

Azhar was sweet enough to come by and buy me dinner last nite and for the family... thks love... muakz.

So CHINESE NEW YEAR is just round the corner. Gotten your new year stuff? i think i need to do a 'lil shopping... a 'lil BUDGET shopping... hehehe...

2003-01-28T19:05:00.000-08:00

i wanna go back and sleep!

woke up and realised it was raining. *hmph* would love to go back to bed... but grandma and dad will start nagging; "10am already still in bed! the clothes all haven't wash yet!! sleep and sleep only!" yadayadayada...so ANYWAYS... here i am smelling nice and all after my bath typing away. *satisfied smile*

however... i really dunnoe why i've been like looking SO darn tired. ever since the door-to-door sales job? i still seem to have the after effects of it. went to school for training on monday, and one of my friends actually commented that i looked tired. even azhar has been mentioning that for a while... sheesh... or maybe its just that i NEED to SLEEP EARLY! *sheepish smile* i've actually been sleeping at abt 12++, 1ish or 2 for the past few days... can never seem to go to sleep by 11pm. and what makes things worse, is that i have never been able to have a fully deeeeeeep sleep. i.e, i'm always waking up in the middle of the nite, for a few seconds or so before going back to sleep. and in one nite, it can actually happen a coupla times. darn... any remedies anybody???

as i mentioned, i had netball training on monday rite?? sigh..... BOY WAS I UNFIT! i was panting like mad and A.C.T.U.A.L.L.Y wheezing cuz i can't catch my breath, my teammate PeiRu kept asking me, "Juliah, you ok?" a coupla times during the training.... thks girl =p

The turnout wasn't that great, but i was glad that i went. Felt a lot better, even though it confirmed that i was so unfit. EXERCISE!!!! Need to do loadsa running... the BAD NEWS is that there's gonna be a fitness test the week after Chinese New Year. a 12min run test of 50m. We're to see how many laps we can do.... its gonna be so boring!!!!! i HATE doing laps... i HATE running 2.4 on the tracks. Miss running round Bedok Reservoir... *sigh* remember that ellsie??? ooops! btw, ellsie has shifted here. so pls take note yar! i've yet to update my links... sorrie peeps!!!

alrite now. hmmm... today's MAJOR issue for mua... would be that my dental surgery is at 3:10pm. i've never had ANY form of surgery before... so this is kinda freaking me out... i just noe that my face might be pretty swollen... *shudders*
Chinese New Year is ard the corner leh!!!!!!!! how to go visiting with my face so bloated???? hmph... to keep my mind of it, gonna go to the Tampines Regional Library to borrow some books... my reading material is kinda low already...

Well well well.... birthdays again round the corner... two of my close friends, Mohideen and Joses from my secondary school and poly respectively... gonna be doing a little window shopping today... kinda low on the kachingchings ($$$$) so gonna go for LOW budget... but NICE.

aight then... gonna finish up me hsework and get ready for... jang jang jaaaaaaaang! DEENTAAAAL SUUURGEEERYYYY! ( in a tone that they use for horror movies ) muahahahahahahhahaaha....

okok... nemmind...

Btw, FINALLY i've gotten a cdr. here i come CDs!!!! arhahahahahhahaha... so shiok... my bro is like over the moon now... download download download!!!!

2003-01-26T08:59:00.000-08:00

apologies

hie all... i'm TRULY apologetic for this amzingly LONG hiatus. problem being that my pc really conked up and i didn't spend time at azhar's place that was long enough for me to use his pc.

okok... updates updates.

remember the sales thingy that i was intending to do? well. i quit. Main reason being that this job REALLY required LOADSA commitment which i can't afford to give due to family priorities. i leave home for work abt 12pm and i reach hme at abt 12am. should the location be further and if my colleagues wanna go for supper, that'll be me reaching hme abt 1am. whoah... too much for me to handle. the parents are breathing dwn my neck and i'm always thinking abt my grandma. she's kinda frail nowadays, and i couldn't stand the fact that she's constantly worried abt me. wat more with the job being door-to-door sales.

i didn't actually wanna bail, cuz i was like there only there only four days, and i really wanted to know more about the trade. my colleagues were very helpful chaps and the boss was one of a kind. just that short term of being in this line, allowed me to learn a lotta things about being in sales. though i got slammed in the face more than once and met some pretty nasty people... it was on the whole pretty fun. u really meet people frm all walks of life. =)

so what has been basically happening after i quit on the 18th of jan, was to just stay home. looked after my grandma, and chill with my buds. didn't really get my ass off to do some exercise and i guess i'm SERIOUSLY gonna feel the damage when i go for training today... *shudders* been reading all the books that i rented. kudos to david pelzer. its a pretty alarming triology, about how he coped with child abuse. am on the last book now. shopaholic abroad by sopie kinsella is also really nice. colin might like this one. it has the flow of the babysitter book. but shopaholic abroad is the second book. gonna grab my hands on the first and last of the triology. ( i seem to be reading a coupla trilogies huh? ) still working on the eyre affair. colin sedaris was pretty interesting in the beginning, but my interest started to wane as i was reaching the end. got kinda bored... =p bitch goddess is a tad confusing, but i'm sure i'll make it through... have to start on lolita soon... must return to book to elsie.. =D

also, having my dental appt today. my lower left wisdom tooth is starting to hurt, so gonna ask for advice abt the surgery. dun tink i can wait another mth... think i might just have everything out together... eeeeeeyyyyyeeeeeerrrrrr.... i think its gonna hurt pretty bad...

another thing is, it seems that my hard disk is pretty unstable, so not sure when i'm gonna go on a sudden hiatus again... pls do understand my loving frenz =))))

so, that abt it now. oh yeah! ash! thanks for the lovely convo we had over in icq yar!!

that's all folks!

2003-01-13T03:43:00.000-08:00

a new start

seem to be at a lost of wat to write. am at azhar's place now, cuz it seems that my home pc is literally down. one 'diagnosis' is that the motherboard is like kaput cuz i can't even switch the damn thing on!

so anyways, went for a dental appt (at last!) found out that ALL my wisdom teeth are growing and i've gotta go for a minor surgery for the lower left tooth, and i gotta extract the upper ones on both sides. seems tha the surgery is necessary cuz the lower left one is lying parrallel against my good teeth. and as the dentist says, there's a little decay going on.... so i have abt two-three mths to remove that particular tooth. one week mc!!! after that, went to meet my friend who went to london the past three mths. got the shot glass frm HRC that my ex-colleague wanted. talked to her abit abt london, how was the whole experience, and what were her plans now that she's not gonna be working. then did some window shopping and am now at azhar's place typing away.

got a call frm my mom. seems that she was in a pretty foul mood.... i wonder why? hmmm.... she went on saying that the kitchen was in a mess and schtuff... but when i left, i tot it was pretty ok wat? i mean, even when she was home, the kitchen more or less looked like how it did... sheesh... or is it just cuz i didn't mop the damn floor, and that classified it into a DAMN MESS?

hiya. dun wanna bother bout such things. gg for the course tmr. hope all goes well. jsut wanna do my best at this whoel sales thing.... cross my fingers...

2003-01-09T01:08:00.000-08:00

hothothothothot weather = badbadbadbad headache

the weather has gone to a total 360 degree change. its freaking hot outside and there's actually strong winds! i can see the trees swaying frm here... it would have been a great day to spend at the beach, tanning... sigh...

anyways, i'm actually having a prettie bah headache now. its the weather. my body can't seem to take these 'drastic' weather changes. dun get me wrong, i love the sun, but when its like cold weather the past few days and suddenly it becomes hot? my body system goes a little haywire too. then there's the overdue kneading that i really need for my neck and shoulders. i think i'm having what they call, a 'tension headache'.

also, have been seeing a lotta numbers today... grrrrrrr..... made me prettie woozy.... so. today there's gonna be a company dinner. be going down to the sundanese restaurant at suntec city. hope the food's good. and i do hope this friggin headache stops. there's gonna be a meeting before we have that dinner, so i dun tink i want it to get any worse... hrmph.

well. abt ytd. haha. prettie farnie actually. i was so excited to meet azhar so that we can go and C.E.L.E.B.R.A.T.E. went to do some shopping at tm, as he thought that it would too early to head dwn to chijmes for dinner. went down to cityhall 'round 8? did another round of shopping before he 'transformed'. he changed into a nice shirt at the carpark, as he was clad in a normal tee, due to the rain ytd. very farnie. heeehee.. i was like joking with him, as people were driving past and all... seeing this beefed up guy changing with a girl there... haha....

so after the 'transformation', we happily headed dwn to chijmes. pondering on where to have dinner. there was ochas, insomnia and chinajump. in the end we settled on the latter, as, firstly, we went there last yr to celebrate our 1st anniversary and the food was prettie good; secondly, it was ladies nite, so we thought we could do with a little partying, and we both wanted to do a little people watching.... =)

chinajump has these nice booths to sit in, like at a tavern, and we were aiming to sit at one of those setas. the thing is, there are the low sears, i.e, the normal, on-the-floor type, and the high seats, whereby you needed to climb up four steps before getting to your seat. it was prettie interesting, so we thought why not?

well, there were the pros and cons. the pros being we could REALLY people watch. we had quite a good view frm up there, and we were pretty much enjoying ourselves as we had a little nook of our own. talked a lotta cock and i was pretty happy actually... laughing and all. food came and gone. i wasn't pretty happy this time round cuz i think the menu changed and it wasn't as good as the last time we ate there, but well, that was like a YEAR ago. so anyways, we were pretty full, and there was a big screen showing some concert in the park in britain, there was prince charles & prince williams. handsome fellas...

bout half an hr later, we got kinda... well... lost. yeah. lost as in, we didn't know where to proceed after that. things were heating up in china jump, but in our little nook, we were, well... lost. we pushed the menus back and forth, flipping the drinks menu again and again, contemplating on wat to drink. however, i think we were like TOO high up, cuz none of the waiters actually came by to ask for our orders... =p o well... in the end bout 10:30pm, we decided to give it a miss, deciding that it jsut wasn't the day to party, cuz i was liek yawning away... must be the food... and azhar's thighs were like sore as he trained quite a bit the day before.

out of china jump and we prowled the courtyards of chijmes. tot of dropping by insomnia, but it was so.... well... boring i guess. not much of a crowd. so we decided to skip it and to pop by boat quay to maybe have a drink before leaving for home. booooy were we met with a huge surprise. boat quay was DEAD. literally. there was only a smattering no of people. must be that start of school. sheesh. along the way, azhar got 'harrassed' by one the guys working at a pub. not too sure which on actually. he was like fat and he wobbled up to azhar singing to the song "...lick my pussy and my crack.." and said to azhar "come lah inside... boleh lah (can lah)..."
my hairs were standing on ends and azhar just wanted to bash the guy up... *shivers* so anyway, in the end, we decided have a short game of pool at katong before heading for home at 12:30am.

here's the gripe. the bth of us actually forgot abt amara hotel. wtf! its like one of the nicest place to lounge, cheap entry, and we were dressed to the nines, and we forgot abt that place....grrrrrrr..... wtf?! hiyo.... along the way we were like griping abt the whole thing but not like, pissed off or fucked up ya noe? more like a shared sense of 'how stupid can we get?' kinda feeling... hehe...

overall, the nite wasn't that bad. we're making it up to go the zoo this sat. had a nice time the last time we went there. just hope the film doesn't go bonkers or something... maybe borrow fida's digicam... *evil smile*

okok.... off to do some more work and just laze ard. i hope this headache eases man.... hopefully meet up with ellsie, shidah and fida this sun...

toodles.

2003-01-08T01:08:00.000-08:00

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....

its freaking cold todae! its been raining since i woke up, which equals to a hard time getting up and more reminiscing of the days in bintan wid azhar.... *goofy smile*

o well. i just hope the weather will hold up later, cuz we're gg out later to C.E.L.E.B.R.A.T.E. not really sure what we're gonna do, cuz of the weather, but i guess to just make the best of it. *grinz* its like 5 o'clock now... can't wait to get outta the office. friday's my last day here... just want to clear my shite. hope i do... else i'll just haveta pass it on to me mom.

how's all my frens doing???? miss everyone! 'specially pple like mamak, yusri, ellsie, mariam, fida, ada, syiqin, arab... and there's shidah, nas, azhan, joses, colin... hmmm... well... some of these peeps bdae's just round the corner!! hehe... that's *points finger* ellsie & fida! hehe... back to back. Happy birthday ladies!!! hope u have a pretty enjoyable one yar??

the massage that ellsie mentioned is like a solo visit, seems that we can't go in trios or pairs. as ellsie mentioned, musta been booked by all the SIM girls. well, i'll jsut go to those chinese massage areas. azhar mentioned that albert centre has like a whole stretch where we can take our pick. need to knead my muscles man...

2003-01-07T05:53:00.000-08:00

snuggle up folks and 2 yrs!

lovely weather in singapore these few days... all i wanna do is to snuggle up in bed with a nice book and music softly playing... btw, here are the books i rented:

me talk pretty one day by David Sedaris

bitch goddess by Robert Rodi

the eyre affair by jasper fforde

a child called 'IT' by dave pelzer

i'm currently reading the David Sedaris book. so far its got me smiling very much to myself. humourous book. gonna see how it goes along but so far, i'm having pretty good vibes bout this author. actually i can't wait for robert rodi. its a freakinly trashy book actually. all his books are about "boys who like boys and...." ( Blur's song ) well, boys who dress like girls basically. but its the sensitivity of the characters that i like. dunnoe if u remember the movie 'BirdCage'? starring Robbie Williams & Gene Hackman. was quite a few years back... that was an interesting book too... heehee... o well. didn't really read much bout the eyre affair, but the summary seemed pretty interesting. lastly, there's david selzer's book. been wanting to get my hands on it for the longest time. can't really explain why... maybe i'm just kpo to find out what happened in his life and what caused such a tremendous turn in his life.

apart frm me books, i'm downloading songs to listen too... formatted my pc so all my collections are also gone. so any nice colelctions peeps? i'm trying to get all the jazz songs back... gotta check it out with elaine man. ellsie i want songs too!!

okieokie... here's a toast to azhar and myself for two years of being together and (hopefully) many more to come folks... cheeeersss..

2003-01-05T23:54:00.000-08:00

update bout back: had new med frm my family doctor. feeling SO much better than i did last week. my flu and cough is like 80% gone and so i guess i'm back to being ME again! heehee... can't wait to go massage wid ellsie...

2003-01-05T23:52:00.000-08:00

faster goal leh...

dropping a few lines. its already three in the pm. bored at work. but fortunately ( one of the few times that i can say it ), work is making the time pass quickly... i hate to say this but the secs and mins pass by so fast its frightening... its already six days into the new year...

went out wid azhar ytd. did some shopping/window shopping/book renting... its been a long while that i went down to sunny bookshop in far east. rented like 4 books making that total of about $75 bucks. Azhar looked shocked at the amt... hehe... you should see his face... mouth gaping and all... his face saying "Four books? and $75 bucks?" But i totally assured him that they were books i've been wanting to get my hands on for a while. Will update on the titles.

We then went off to do some window shopping, then it was off to Forum to play pool at... er... i forgot the name of the palce. but its below HRC. hehe... was pretty surprised with my skills... =p have imrpoved... but as the saying goes in malay "macam angin" ( translation: like the wind, it comes and goes )

After that ard 8:30, we were off to Monkey's Cafe at Orchard Hotel to watch Liverpool vs Manchester City. First half was ultimately boring. There were like 10 of us, and we were like shocking patrons who were eating and oblivious to the game with sudden shouts of "GOAL!".... "GOAL!".... we were lucky no one got choked. hehe... so we left during half time ( i was imposed a curfew, had to be back by 10 ), and we got caught in the rain.... however... i felt really warm though... not cuz i was wearing the rain coat, but... o well. *sighs* its just a feeling of being there with Azhar. Can't really describe it... anyways, we got back in time to finsh watching the second half but weren't lucky to catch the only goal in the game....

Weell! It rained the whole nite, had a hard time waking up this morning.... but well.. only two more hrs to go before work ends! teehee!
Going dwn for netball ( out of training for two weeks due to back ) to see the girls... gotta rush to buy bdae cards. i'm the social secretary. weird post. suppose to organise outings and such for grp bondings... any ideas???

2003-01-03T00:58:00.000-08:00

cranky laydee

tink i'll start usin headers now. realised that its a tad more organised. hey all.... i hate this ya noe? here's a simple equation to the answer above: ( backache+runny nose+coughing+stiff neck ) * occasional cramps = cranky laydee

i'd really love to be smiling and all... but... i think i'm just working out my face muscles... ( it takes more muscles to frown than to smile? )

main reason for me to smile: i'm leaving this shit hole next friday!!!! rest two short days and i gotta go for a course for my new job the following mon. i'm just crossing my fingers and psychoing myself that i'll just do my best. y? well. cuz this job only works on commision. there ain't no basic babesters... yup... thus, my daddie and momsie are prettie naggie and uptite 'bout the whole thing.

PERSONALLY, i was, and actually still am pretty sceptical bout this whole thing. BUT. i told myself to just give it a try. the main treat here is the commision. and all you've gotta be is really hardworking and also, well, realistic. Its tempting to look far and plan abt wat u can do with your salary? but. i told myself that to just work and try it out first. the folks gave me two mths. well well... we'll see aight mates? we'll see if i stick thru this... the non-political & friendly working environment is the main eye-catcher.... i just hope it all turns out as wat it looks and not be a total facade.... *cross fingers*

k peeps. on mc tmr. gotta go see my family doctor before i REALLY fall flat on my face.

have a nice weekend y'all...

2003-01-02T00:09:00.000-08:00

i'm s e r i o u s l y feeling very... VERY... b..l..a..h... to add on to my current condition... i'm having a runny nose... a slight cough... plus pms... not a very good combo.... i tink i got the runny nose and cough frm Azhar... who is i think getting better... hiya... saliva exchange.... wat ta do???

On a S E R I O U S note; literally got my a** kicked by ellsie after this entry ( check out her comments ).

work is BORINGboringboringboringBORING. doing alota invoicing. my stoopid boss is rushing for the statements which i think is a pretty dumb qn to ask, given the situation that the two pple ( my colleague and myself ) who are doing invoices are only back in the office TODAY. sigh... dumb qn. seriously. and there are still rates to confirm and all... and import i think can only close say tmr... and he is not even IN the office YET ( its 4:11pm now). SO? How do i start doing my statements?

OK. Nose still runny... feeling kinda feverish... i'm walking like an old ladie... hiya... xianz... wat a way to welcome the new year.... bleaaaaaah.....

2003-01-01T18:45:00.000-08:00

hey all... happy new year to all... apologies bout no updates. My hme pc was dwn, only fixed up yesterday, and i wasn't at work on the last two days of last year, cuz i was on MC. yeah. I didn't even getta go out on NYE. Sheesh. Wat happened? well. i sprained my damn back. dun haf the time to elaborate now, but i'll try later tonite.

fast updates: my mom's back at work to relearn wateva she might haf forgotten the past year. i'm just laxing and clearing off my shite before passing the reins back to her... and my back is still aching sia... hiya...

btw. i have NO IDEA why the right side of my blog is not appearing. checked my template and everything is still intact. wierd.... and i have not touched it for like.. a mth odd...

2002-12-27T02:03:00.000-08:00

i seem to be crying over spilt milk. ha........ha......ha......... *lower lip trembles*

2002-12-26T19:35:00.000-08:00

my mind is reeling. things seem to be running ard like crazy and i can't seem to get a hold on them. help me?

i dunnoe. i'm being a real bitch now. for those who have read my past blogs, you peeps noe how i go abt ranting.... now.... i dunnoe. i feel so tired.

sometimes i really don't understand myself... have you ever felt that way? i mean, like do things and not understanding why you actually went abt with that action/words said? i'm trying to find the reasons behind it. and i'm tired of going into the whole thing again and again and again and again.....

i feel so misunderstood, unappreciated, and i want attention. OR. am i just craving it? he's upset. i am too. i dunnoe if i'm looking for faults. whether i'm trying to pin the situation on somebody, either myself or him, so that i can start blaming SOMEBODY. he asks why i always think negatively, why i always think that he doesn't care, why do i have to react so angrily.... what am i to answer?

he feels stressed. saying i'm expecting a lot outta him. am i? i dunooe. really. is it cuz i'm having pms? severe mood swings. i'm fucking depressed here ya noe? and lost. and confused. and even though i seem to be so... 'steady' or 'in control' to most people who meet me.... i'm like a real wreck inside.

i say things like i don't think he deserves someone like me, that i hate him, that he dosen't understand me, that he dosen't... this and that and yadayadayada.... its real stupid. DAMN STUPID.

he switched off his fone. he's very pissed off. wat happened in detail i'm not gonna say. just that he was joking ard and something he did made me feel embarrased and.... humiliated ( if i did it, which was a kinda dare, and i took it up w/o thinking ). he doesn't see it that way, and says that all i have to say is no. the word humiliated mite sound kinda strong and well.... i dunnoe if i have used it appropriately here... i dunnoe.... yeah... that seems to be popping up alot in this entry, but.... this is really how i am now... i feel...so... freaking.... lost and confused....

i dunnoe wat to be thinking abt or hw to go abt to start thinking rationally... sheesh...

i hate being in this state where i'm so outta control.

or am i just so comfortable with what i have that i am afraid to lose it? *shivers*

2002-12-26T01:42:00.000-08:00

i'm a horny bitch now. grwoooooaaarrr.... sex is on my mind... and i'm having a fucking backache.

hear me sccreeeeeeaaaammm: "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! "

hmph. *crosses arms*

2002-12-26T00:26:00.000-08:00

there's a coupla peeps that i've been meaning to linky up but didn't til NOW. so do go visiting yar?? there's lurvely siquekitten, thebigbadvoododaddyman and the lil ones, shai and cipbugga.

2002-12-25T22:07:00.000-08:00

another thing. to all singaporeans 21 yrs and above. ERS!!! get your money earlier than the stipulated date! check this site. But u've gotta have your cpf pal pin no yeah.... gd luck!!
[edit]Good for peeps like me with a big holey in the pocketie[/edit]

2002-12-25T22:04:00.000-08:00

oh yeah. think i kinda irritated Azhar with long list of things i wanted and he was pretty sleeeeeeepiiieeeee..... hehe... solie k dear?

2002-12-25T22:03:00.000-08:00

Updates!

24th Dec, XMAS EVE

Went to Azhar's place after work bout 5ish. Ate at his place first, before leaving bout 8pm for City Hall. We made our way to Chijmes and it wasn't so packed. was supposed to hang out with my AC friends @ INSOMNIA. HOWEVER, things were cancelled due to the lack of numbers, and it ended up just Azhar and myself. Called Arab but he just woke up, Ellsie just came back from a shopping trip with Maryam, Fiby's grounded... so it was "Just the two of us".

The atmosphere there was pretty relaxed and nice. ChinaJump seemed pretty full, it had this canopy covering the normally open courtyard, but due to the sudden downpurs the past few days, it was covered. Felt like sliding down the canopy.... hehe...

Went for a walk thru Citylink and chanced upon this shop selling accesories. I fell in love with a pair of specs and this really nice 'diam ond' ring. very classy... and ChEaP.... =p

On we went to Suntec where there were these kiddos selling xmas ornaments thruout the nite. Luminous colored balls, and santa hats with blinking ends, and knickknacks... $5/hat. huh? Well, while in Suntec, our main aim was to search for the newly opened Lea Jeans outlet. I had the addy, but, we just couldn't seem to find the damn place! We walked up past Giordano, then realised that the nos were getting bigger that 01-45/47, so we backed down but found that the number jumped from 01-5++ to 01/40... what the...?

Even after we checked the directory, we were still pretty lost. Azhar was saying, "Wah dear. If we join the Amazing Race, i think we're gonna lose out" hehe... But in the end! We actually found it tucked behind Esprit, opposite Marche. But it was closed. The reason being they are having this promo whereby if you bring ANY old pair of long jeans, you can get 20% off their jeans. which is pretty reasonable, BUT, i still dunch noe if the cutting suits me. So. that's on for this saturday. The search for the perfect pair....

Frm thereon, we decided to go to Orchard Rd. Boy were we surprised. It was V E R Y C R O W D E D. @ 10pm. The roads were jammed... there were people everywhere... We ended up just mingling with the crowds, and having a nice time just talking to each other... ended up at Monkey's Cafe at Orchard Towers. Quite a nice place. Reasonably priced. And lotsa stuffed monkeys... thus the name...

In the end, we ended up at Boat Quay, a bad choice actually, cuz it was stuffy and grrrrr.... PACKED. But he was meeting up with his pals, so just tahan. Checked out a pub called PHAT BAR, and boy was i bored. Yeah i like hip-hop... but.... this was seemingly hardcore rap. and TOO MUCH OF MALAYS. very suffocating. had no idea why, but the four of us who didn't drink had stinging eyes throughout the whole hr we were there. Cabuts at 1:30, and enjoyed the cool breeze as we whizzzed back hme...

I think i was pretty tired. cuz i had a really good sleep that nite.... snorrrrreeeeeee

25th Dec, XMAS DAY

how was xmas for you peeps? mine was spent at hme. recuperating frm the stress of the eve. lounged in my pjs the whole day. reading the nanny diaries. quite a funny light-hearted book bout a nanny who's my age... seemingly desperate to know this hunky harvard guy ( H.H ). The interesting part is that most of the characters names are pseudonyms, which makes the book easy to follow. Nice. Thks for introducing it Colin! =0

HOWEVA! the lousy part was me having my backaches. Fortunately my baby came over to format my pc. gave me a 'lil back rub, and shoulder massage... thx dear... he'll be back tonite to finish up, so hopefully i can be more consistent with the blogging... =D

26th Dec, happy boxing day y'all!

even TODAY, and i'm still having that stupid backache. i feel like a duck waddling ard. urgh. stupid pms symtoms. next week will be sore titties again before the real thang. oh yeah. forgot the most dreadful thing. MoodSwwwwwiiiiiinnnnngggggggssssssss.....
Sheeshkaboodles......

Just gonna finish my work now. Downpour again just now. Fortunately wearing my sweater... AND the aircons not working today!!!!!!! arhahhahahaha.... not freezing my ass off.... yay!

that all folksies!

2002-12-22T22:35:00.000-08:00

hey all. merry merry xmas. Holiday season is so back to back that the thought of working seems to be real chore... but sigh... just gotta get along with it.

well well.... i thoroughly apologise for the pretty long absence. Last week has been pretty much of a whirlwind, and as i mentioned, a crazy week as well, due to work. Alrite then. Lets start at the beginning of last week....

Mon, 16th Decmeber 2002

Boring monday, freaking Monday blues... Fortunately, i finished up my end of mth accounts and statements. Sigh... Gotta start bugging people to PAY MONEY!!!! WE WANT OUR BONUS Y'ALL!!!!

My best pal Fiby, is being pretty excited abt Wednesday... PARTY ON GIRLS!!!!! @ THA WU BAR dwn Mohd Sultan Rd ( to the uninitiated, its one of the major clubbing streets in S'pore... quite an eclectic mix of pubs/bars/restaurants ) Been calling me up and bugging me bout which of my pals are going etc.

Well, reason for her being so excited is becoz she seldom goes, not coz of personal reasons, but coz of her boyfriend. And always. ALWAYS. She will agree to go with me, and at the last min, she'll retreat, jsut cuz her guy, well, fiance NOW, changes his mind bout letting her go. Seriously. Wats up with that? So for Wednesday, i threatened her not to cancel it or else... well, i didn't know wat... but... OR ELSE...

Netball AGM tonite! Sigh... hope everything turns out ok and interesting. But... There MUST be karaoke.... freaks them all... and always chinese songs...

Tues, 17th Decmeber 2002
Nothing much today. Must be a gooooood girl cuz going out tmr.... ehehhehe... excitement is just building up. Confrimed peeps gg are Arab. ONLY. Er and OD not cfmed... sheesh. Di is like out too... no rtn calls nothing... miss that crazy foul mouthed bitch.

Wed, 18th Decmeber 2002
Excited day... can't wait to go and check out Tha Wu Bar... hope its as nice as Fiby says... Be meeting with her friends Shidah, Siti @ Bugis, have dinner, then drop by Arab St. They wanna go smoke 'sheesha'....

the rest of tha days, to be con'td... fucked up days for the rest of the week.... bleeeeeeah

2002-12-21T05:39:00.000-08:00

Words misused,
You tripped.
Acted like its nothing,
Though it hurt.
Wanting to get over it,
I didn't.
Heads messed up,
It hurts.
You pushed me away,
For friends.
Tears roll freely,
Do you hear?

2002-12-19T18:07:00.000-08:00

halllooooo halloooooo.....

wah.

stoppped by here ytd, and saw stuff on me tag board... =P

SORRY LAHHHHHHHH..... been pretty bz at work the past few days, and that is the only time that i can blog. My pc at hme hasn't been too friendly with me. We'll see its condition this sun, AFTER Azhar comes by to fix it.

Ok now. Will try my best to note what happened this past wk aight? muahmuahmuahhugshugshugs to all who popped by but kept seeing "THE LONG POST"

hehe....

2002-12-13T18:49:00.000-08:00

note: this is a loOong post

HAPi WeeKenDz all....

I noe i noe, as someone was wondering, YES larrrr.. haven't been blogging fer a while cuz the elation of my commenting system has left me euphoric for the couple of days *seeing stars*....

harhar... no lah... *shakes head and grinz*... been just bz at work, wat more with the raya celebrations, the visitations, chilling with pals and stuff. Meeting up wid my darling and spending time asmoooochin him... which i missed tons hon *winks*

Am having my breakfast ( kopi 'o'/ black koffee with curry puffs ) while typing this. i'm as happy as a lark cuz of the festivities and all, but i'm having an impending headache. Gonna pop some asprin later. Else i really dun tink i can do any calculations later... bleah... end of mth accounting shite to finish up.

Some of the events that have made me smile as wide and having endorphins run thru my sys, was as mentioned, just hanging out with my dahling... meeting up with fida ( my closest secondary school friend ) as well as.... MEETING UP WITH COLIN YTD!!! Was nice to see him again =D

He didn't look as plump as i tot, just beefier and well, more macho lookin actually ( Yes Colin ^-^ MUCHOO MACHO).... hehe... and the hairstyle wasn't that bad lah... well. AFTER the styling... he looked pretti yummy actually... hmmm.... *rubs chin* COLIN was pretty cute, was nice to see him laughing and all, yet, i dunnoe sort of felt that it was a total cover up in a way, the hurt and all. We talked abt his relationship, me being a Makcik KPO ( MIss BzBodie ), just had to hear it frm the horse's mouth.

Well, what can i say? I said stuff.. hoping to give some form of an advice... but i've got this tendency to push people to listen to what i have to say ( as usual... DUH ) Then i realised that, well, he's heard a lot frm friends, so i guess what he might need now are just listening ears. I mean, i've gone thru this situation before, and sometimes, u hear TONS of advice, that, well, advice just sorta start getting immune to ya? Cuz some are repetitive, while the rest u can sort of expect it. Sigh.

The only advice to COLIN that i will emphasize is this:

Both of ya need to do some MORE maturing to do. And i mean BOTH of you. The impression i'm having from you is that, well, you seem to be blaming yourself... A LOT. And i think that u shouldn't berate yourself so much. You can accept her faults, but, she has gotta realise that SHE was at fault too... It takes two tango dahling, THEN can we shine and enjoy the dance TOGETHER.

I know you love her. MUcHoos too. All i can say is that well, its a loss on bth sides. Only difference is that well, u felt it more than she did. ANd, i dunnoe if yo've heard this opinion before... but... well, maybe she didn't love you as much as you loved her. i dunnoe if that sounded kinda harsh but... well... personal opinion...

Personally, i feel if you really love someone, no matter what happens ( now this EXCLUDES violence/battery/cheating of any form to the women folk ok! ), you'd do your darndest best to stick things thru, and most importantly, communicate abt your problems and talk it thru. Be it you talk nicely or have a cold argument or scream and shout at each other to get the point across... most importantly, is to be able to talk abt what happened, and not to just shut the gap and expect others to pluck off the hint from outta no where like a magician.

Love is no smooth sailing ship, people can break up after 6 mths or after 5 years even divorce after 20 years of marriage. Who are we to advice others on what we ourselves might not even know in depth? All the above 'advice' that i'm givin, are all words of truth. I'm not slamming HER or anything... i believe she is a nice girl, should i getta noe her... else u wouldn't love her so much rite? But what i'm slamming is the way she's handling the situation. And why? Well, cuz I was EXACTLY like her! HA! Yeah... Azhar would be nodding his head now man... hehe...

Weeeelll... not WAS lah... stil am now, BUT, I'm learning from mistakes and... doing my best to control my fiery temper and moody temperaments... ( yes dear... ) i can firmly say that we can be real bitches sometimes... sigh...

Aight then. The above are just ramblings of mine Colin dearest. Dun take to heart should they offend you in anyway okie? Just sharing my shite with ya... =) Once again, was nice to have dinner and MIILKSHAKE with you at C.A.N. CAFE ( bugis, same stretch as Amirans Cafe )... lovely seats, nice ambience... but the music? Erm... was a little BLEAH... Retro OVERLOAD.

After the C.A.N CAFE, we met up with Bin who just finished his classes, dedicated teacher okie??!! And accompanied him to have his dinner at swensons. Lenny and myself had the GoLDRUsH, two scoops of ice-cream combo. We chose Cookies-N-Cream & i tink Chocolate Peanut Butter or something... but it was niiiiiccce.... *raise brows*

My Darling came dwn to meet up with us after his Class 2 practical, and well, we left from there! Hehe... Went off to Boat Quay as Azhar wanted to makan... Walked thru the stretch... but... IT WAS DESERTED! i mean FRIDAY NITE?? hmmm... the only few pubs that was happening was HENDRIX, the previous RUMRUNNERS, er.. Chocolate Bar... and the first pub upfront... forgot the name... even MAMBO'S pretty dead now... well... maybe its just the day lah... Aiyah. Anyways, i dun frequent that area no more. Just to sit at the steps by the river to talk....

After that, we went on to walk towards One Fullerton, THAT was packed, Centro360 & Embargo mah... even Gloria Jeans was quite filled up. Been meaning to go there and chill. Maybe nxt week. O well. After we had a nice walk... lovely nite, lovely weather, we took a quick ride to Mohd Sultan Road. Wanted to find out the location that my pals and I are going nxt week... Fortunately it ain't too far in.

AND. That's all folks!

That was what happened the whole nite ytd... pretti long post huh? o well. So now, i'm really sleepy however, i tink i'd better get back to work... =p

Gonna be staying home but maybe pop by to Ada's place for MAKAN!!!! Her mummy cooks REALLY delicious lip-smacking food... droolz... I'm getting fat. cuz TOMORROW there are TWO maken sessions also. One is at my AC senior's place, and the other is Azhar's aunt. And he says to leave space for his Aunts place cuz SHE also has finger-lickin good foodies also...

GRRRRRRRR.... need to go jogging sia... workout... faaaaaaaaat.....

2002-12-09T21:34:00.000-08:00

muahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! my comment sys is up!!!!! ahahaha.... yipes. yup lenz. i didn't put in the script thingy... o well... i'm elated now. so... hehe...

2002-12-09T18:27:00.000-08:00

Heelloooo all.

Was terribly busy the past with days, serving relatives, headbabnging, visiting frenz, aching feet and sleeping late. Now i'm feeling really stoned and tired. My upper eyelids are so heavy boy.... just waiting to meet the lower lids. Ok. How did the headbanging come into picture? I WENT FOR THE RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS CONCERT! yes! i did, with Azhar and frenz... ellsie went too but we were at direct opposite ends and she really couldn't solo me out frm the crowd. i caught the two of em snuggling in a two seater... hehe... WHY were you chilling out to RHCP???? i caught you on your ass like throughout the whole damn concert girl!

As for me, maybe i made a total fool of myself. but heck. i couldn't care less. i was jumping ard like a mad woman. Azhar's frens musta think i was mad. However, it wasn't as spectacular as wat i'd have expected, i dunnoe, maybe something MORE. or maybe its cuz we sat at the gallery, and we were like RIGHT st the end. so they were like the size of toy dolls down on the stage.

well. i'd just say that i enjoyed myself. the past few days. Raya visiting was tiring ytd. I was just willing for it to end quickly, but it so happened that it was a BIG group of pple. abt 20? there were abt four vehicles in total; three cars & a pickup. Lotsa eating and waiting... reached hme abt 1am.

that explains why i am SO freaking tired, cuz sun was little sleep nite also....

btw, there's a solo pic of mua as well as of Azhar and me here. it was taken at this year's WOMAD @ Fort Canning by ellsie. i'm wearing a black tank top and he's wearing a blue tee with a red stripe at the shoulders.

Enjoy.... =D

2002-12-04T18:25:00.000-08:00

Selamat... Hari Raya... dahdahdahdahdahdahdahdahdahdahdah.... sowie ah. I'm not too well versed in this song. hehe. O well. festive mood is ard, Eid Mubarak is TOMORROW!! WOohooOOooo...

Actually, i dunnoe if i loathe it or love it. Its a mixed feeling whenever Hari Raya/Eid Mubarak comes around. Loathing it cuz there will be an ENDLESS stream of family coming to my family for the first day and there's so much of serving to do.... love it cuz that is when i get to see ALL of my realtives gathering together. And at one shot that can be A LOT of people.

Soemtimes i feel pretty guilty for feeling bad, cuz, there is only this crowd cuz of my grandma, who's the matriach of the family. When the time comes that she's no longer with us, well. There will no longer be this crowd... sigh...

My grandma has been with my side of the family since my parents got married. She's taken care of me, my bro and sis since we were ALL babies. Fresh frm the hospital. Wrinkly crying babies. Which means she's with us for almost, well, 23 years now. So, u can imagine how old my grandma is. And cuz of that, every hari raya is a major affair on my side. Serving drinks, washing cyps, filling up the tupperwares of cookies and cakes.... catching up on small talk with cousins and all... busy man... but fun lah. A festive event that only happens once a year....

Aight now. To answer ellsie's question and to quell any other queries abt my piles issue.

Firstly, thks to all concerned and who wished me well with regards to this. I'm actually doing quite fine, the painful bump i mentioned has wased up tremendously. It used to hurt when i touched it, but now its just a little bump. I'm still on medications and i have to apply a cream to that area 2 to 3 times a day. So all i have to do is to con't this cycle and, well, just pray hard that it doesn't occur again.

ellsie mentioned abt the whole thing being embarrasing due to the exposure of the nether regions to someone else, regardless of it's a doctor and what more if the doctor is a HE. However, i digress. YES, it is TOTALLY embarrasing, but the bottom line is just do it if u have to. Remind yourself that, hey, these peeps have seen hundreds/ thousands of watever that we are embarrased to show. so? yours is just one of 'em. and, well, it gets easier with more sessions.

I still remember when i had my first pap smear? GOSH. i went out of the room beet red. It was S O damn uncomfortable. and have someone prodding me nether regions. it was SOOoooOOOooOOOO embarrasing and uncomfortable.... hiya... but u gotta do what u gotta do.

There are still two things which i have not done. Have a mammogram and donate blood. the later hopefully on the 15th of this mth at Changi-Simei Community Club. Those who live in the area do make an effort. whereas the first one. well. i'm still looking for a place, that doesn't charge too much...

aight now. am so sleepy cuz i slept at 3am last nite. Discussing abt something that just totally pissed me and a couple of people off. but i won't go into that today.

Happy Eid Mubarak. Selamat Hari Raya. Happy Holidays. Have a great weekend.

See u sat. I HAVE TO WORK HALF DAY. bummer *mutters*

2002-12-03T23:00:00.000-08:00

another day of slacking ard. i work. but. its becoming a freaking chore. sheesh. going out with my bro and sis this evening after breaking of fast.

ellsie's link has been updated... that's abt it for today.

2002-12-02T20:40:00.000-08:00

Hari raya's just round the corner. three short days and its eatandeatandeat again. Then, we have the RHCP CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *does a solo kallang wave* woooooOOoooOoohoOOooOOo.... gonna go for a cardio head bangin session man... whoooooh. perspire like mad and come out of the indoor stadium wet. hehe... just can't wait.

my boss is outta town for a week. so its pretty slack in the office. also, with the hari raya festivities, our clients in indon are also closed for abt a week, so there really isn't much work. just lotsa clearing of work. smoke free environment for a nice week.... *sighs*

The Amazing Race is coming to town! Would like to take up lipGlossy's offer, but it IS the EVE of Eid. so. will be catchin it at home. wid my bro and sis. Personally, i'm rooting for the twins to win. YES. they are gorgeous, especially when they smile and... ehem... go topless. wheooo... "nice abs fellas". *heart palpitations deep breaths* apart frm the physical factor, i'm on their side, cuz throughout the whole race, they have been put down a lot by the other teams. That's one of the main reasons.

my piles issue is lookin up. the bump is gettin smaller, so for those who are dying to see any form of op (!), SORIE...

after raya is clubbing time! hehe... there's xmas eve and new year's eve, and one before that with fida and i dunnoe who else. Well. Just gonna have loads of FUNFUNFUN!!

ON the DOWN SIDE:
Its such a damn f&*ked up feeling when u are sharing something with someone, and you are SO darn enthusiastic abt it, to only be thrown the wet blanket. I mean, all i was doing is sharing information. Couldn't u just share my enthusiasm? yeah rite like real you've "grown outta" it. Did i say i'm forcin you to go with me?

2002-12-01T23:24:00.000-08:00

short post.

went to the doc abt me piles. on med and cream application. If after two weeks and the bump is still there, i've gotta go for a minor op. small cut on the bump to drain the blood out. so. PRAY for me peeps that it disappears otay! busy busy today...

2002-11-30T09:15:00.000-08:00

cut my hair today. @ REDS. the hairstylist was nice. hmmm... might stick wid 'em for a while. however. erm. i dunnoe if i love it or not, but... others ( my baby, mom & sis ) say its ok. Cut and coloured my hair. Hmmm... the colour seems to be a kinda bright golden brown. after 3 hrs, i feel i look like a golden monkey. sheesh. baby says its ok, but, aiyah. i dunnoe. when i left the salon, all was fine. i was pretty much reving bout the cut and the colour? but 2 hrs later, i'm starting to hate my decision. EEsssshhhh. i think i'm pretty fickle minded huh?

anyways, mom says the colour will fade in a while, and all i'm doing is to learn to get used to it, as well as learn how to style this new hairdo. cut my hair short ladies. dun think i'll have the patience to let it grow long.

hmph.

2002-11-29T00:26:00.000-08:00

wah. stopped by at ktg. quite a bunch of peeps popped by. Lenny's building up the networking aspect i think. she's like our web designer as well as our marketing exec! LOL!

some peeps who stopped by were only what? 15? and the site? gosh? Totally BLEW mua awwwwwaaaayyyyy.... lovely lovely site. and i'm proud to say she's local!

Good werk Anna girl!

2002-11-28T18:49:00.000-08:00

Please bear with the post below. It mIGht be hard to swallow for some people.

i don't really know watssup with me today, but, all i wanna do now is to just GET OUT of the office!

i know its friday and all, but the feel of "Thank God Its Friday" atmosphere has not comforted me. this is pretty embarrasing but... *cringe* ... i've actually got piles. been having it for a week or so, and the cream i bought at the pharmacy ain't working.

Lenny might say its gross, but the truth is, its a pain in the ass. LITERALLY.

yeah yeah. laugh all u want, but read up on this and see how COMMON it is. and the fact that it HURTS okay? and with this, i'm like so afraid to take a poop. scared that its gonna make the whole situation worse.

The ironic thing is that, it is pretty easy to cure cuz its actually just a tiny bulb, yet the thing that makes the whole situation unbearable is whether u wanna go see a doc and let him/her check your anus. humph. Aiyah. Gonna see the doc. But am contemplating on whether i should go today or tmr. But am takin leave tmr... sheeshkaboodles.

hari raya's next week as well as RHCP concert. and i am havin piles....

WTF?

2002-11-28T00:15:00.000-08:00

sherie has been linked. as well as angie + david

2002-11-27T20:58:00.000-08:00

i don't understand things sometimes. if its a small issue, why can't i just take it as it is? why must i go into a sorta internal rage or sumthin? and start seething over it?

is it just f&*king true that its cuz i just can't accept it as the matter isn't going "MY WAY"? am i such a dominant freak that all things have to be in my absolute control? That things HAS to go as planned otherwise i'll just seem to go nuts? why can't i just calmly think things thru before going into a rage? before clarifing issues?

i'm shivering like mad in this damn office and yet i'm boiling inside. I hate feeling like this. urgh. *kicksbangspuncheshardsurface*

i noe its little shitey stuff.

urgh.

GOD help me.

i hung up again.

sheeesh.

*kickshardsurface*

*crosses arms*

*pouts*

i'm sorry.

2002-11-27T17:55:00.000-08:00

ok... tag boards up... but i'm still lost with regards to haloscan...

2002-11-27T01:29:00.000-08:00

comment comment comment.... i want my comment space!!!

2002-11-26T19:49:00.000-08:00

sheeeshkaboodles... bleahhhhhh.... crapcrapcrap.

can somebody pls explain to me why my comment section won't appear?? its getting pretty irritating. urgh.

On a kinky nota:

Sex & The Gurls

Wonder wats up wid my ladies... heh... Maryam seems sexually deprived, Elsie loves sex, and well, i kinda miss it... =p

We've got lesbian mamas and unfulfilled fasts... hurmmmm... Wonder wats up?

I just realised something. The three of us have not, actually, talked about sex face to face huh? ... hurmmm... ok. i wonder where this is gonna take me...

2002-11-26T01:49:00.000-08:00

am bored with a major headache/migraine? Its all on the right side and i'm going geylang later. How smart is that? took some quizzes. ain't in the mood to finish up any work.

What Kind of Sexy Are You?

Shy 'n' Sexy

When it comes to sex appeal, you have it — and you know it. It's just that you hold it back until you're more secure with the person of your affections. Were you the kind of kid who was nervous about the first day of school even though you knew you were smart enough to compete?

Let's face it, you probably know what you're great at, it's just getting over that initial bump of meeting someone new, getting used to them, and warming up to a situation that gives people the impression you might be a little more tame than others. But look out. Because when you reach your comfort level, you're in the zone.

Your lovers are the lucky ones because they're the only people who really know what lies beneath your timid exterior. Sure you might shy away from steamy looks in public. But get you behind closed doors and you're ready to unleash your true sexual powers. You may be shy, but you know how to hook and reel 'em in.

What Color Is Your Aura?

We don't need a psychic to tell us that you're giving off a Emerald vibe. Your bright, refreshing, grass-green aura tells us that you're a relaxed person with a laid-back attitude. Into living a healthy lifestyle — from eating right to trying yoga and aromatherapy — you're down-to-earth and always easy-going. You bring calm and peace with you wherever you go. A bit of a flower child, you're as unpretentious and open-minded as they come. Everyone is invited to your party. Chances are you have quite the green thumb, too, as well as a knack for healing people — both emotionally and physically. Sensitive and compassionate, you're as reliable as the earth and as natural as herbal tea and organic vegetables.

2002-11-25T01:46:00.000-08:00

Sent out two resumes today... *cross fingers* hope i hear something. Gonna send out the others in hard copy form. Hiya... have to take photos again...

2002-11-24T18:32:00.000-08:00

HI BABY!!! MuuuaaaH! Thks for popping by... =)

Tis a real surprise and a real treat after what happened last nite... =(

Perked up my spirit tho' this morning... And its not that u were babbling incessantly, just that, i can't fathom and put together the pieces of advice that u gave me cuz i was just in a state of F*&^ed up depression mode, which i can't seem to pull out there and then.

Now that i'm awake, and things are less muddled, i'm trying to get by and live with the consequence of my actions. This C.O.N.S.E.Q.U.E.N.C.E which, i believe for most of us, can be something of a hard, bitter pill to swallow if our actions were not what i would say, allow us to have a halo over our heads...

2002-11-24T07:00:00.000-08:00

Love u love u love u...............Been a while since i pop in here...
It seems so fast the the month of ramadhan is coming to an end in less than two weeks...
Well gonna call the car rental co. tomorow and see whether they have vehicle available for hari raya...
Well dear ho[pe to get car so we can go to red hot with four wheels ah...
Muah muah MUAKS

2002-11-22T18:35:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah! Do check out this site: "Project Climb On" k? Its for charity... and if u wanna try a hand at Rockclimbing...

2002-11-22T18:34:00.000-08:00

Sat's here again. Isn't it kinda scary to know how fast time passes by? Well. Going down to JB again. I HOPE my other two sets of baju kurung turns out ok. Sent my first set for alterations ytd. Cost me $20 buckeroos. Sheesh. It'd better be better fitting this time round.

I mean, when u go to a tailor, you would expect the end product to fit you exactly as it should rite? Cuz you were measured by the tailor? But what i got was an ill fitting top and a bottom that makes my hips look BIGGER! And the length was so long that i had to fold it THREE times at the waistband. I mean "whaAt!"

Sheesh. Its the first time that i was there and yet this kinda shitty thing happens. Gosh. 3 sets for RM$400 or SGD$200. I dunnoe if its considered cheap or expensive but, EXPENSIVE was what the alterations auntie told me... Whatever it is, it'll be the first and last that i'm going to that shop. Gonna try the other one that my auntie patronizes. Also in JB.

Anyhow. Baby's momma is followin us, and he told his momma bout it. So what i heard was that we are gonna demand that they do the alterations there and then should any be required. I wonder if that'll happen... *crosses arms*

Oh yeah. My No-Bake Cookies turned out pretty ok. Not bad for a first timer and the fact that i DID NOT use the oven. On the downside, it isn't as firm/crunchy/crispy like normal cookies. Its actually pretty soft, a little like Mrs Fields soft cookies... But i had to refrigerate them to make 'em slightly harder. This batch was way too sweet tho'. But i think it'll pass among the kiddies. Put in too much sugar and peanut butter. It has oats in it... But u couldn't really taste 'em. If it wasn't too sweet, i think me and my sis would finish 'em off. Delicious for peanut butter lovers... =p ( thats ME! *winks* )

Gonna try to make 'em again, and meb make Kuih Suji. Freakinly simple ingredients and method of making. But will do it at Baby's place, as i've no oven at home... =)

Aight then! Enjoy the weekends all... And its EXACTLY TWO WEEKS TO HARI RAYA!!!

2002-11-21T01:59:00.000-08:00

I'm going home sooooOOOOoOOooOOOoOOooOOOoOOoon.... Gonna try a go at making some NO-Bake Cookies. We'll see if its yummy... teehee... =D

2002-11-20T18:08:00.000-08:00

Harlow harlow... o well. yes, i've not been updating. Been surfing ard tho. Reading up on the other Blogger's links.

Received an email frm LinGirl. One of my best gal frenz... Whom quite a buncha pple mistake as my sistah. We've got a pic of each other together.... er... =p dunnoe where i've put it. I'm not good with keeping track of stuff. But its SUMWHERE. Just gotta dig for it.

Been busy at the work the past couple of days. Couldn't really blog... Didn't know what to blog... And by the time i reach hme. I dun wanna on the pc already... so lazy... Instead i laze infront of the google box and watch "Zhen Qing" on CH U @ 7pm, then switch to Ch55 on SCV to watch "NeZha". Its a story abt these celestial beings frm the Chinese mythology. Pretty interesting show. "Zhen Qing" is a VERY long story with i think 600 episodes? It revolves ard this Char Siew Family. Personally, i think it is pretty grounded in its family values. And the actors/actresses did pretty well for each individual character.

Well, after "NeZha" its 9pm. I laze ard, take my bath if i couldn't earlier, catch up with things happening at hme... yar. That's abt it. Of coz there's the usual talking to my baby time... and cleaning up my stuff... Then that's my day lah. Hmm... kinda boring.

Can't wait for Hari Raya... Time passes by so quikly that its literally just TWO wks away!! OMIGOSH! There's still so much to clear up at hme... urgh. i hate the spring cleaning part... Well, on the bright side, be cutting my hair AND hopefully get a proper colour. Getting my baju kurung and all... then well, Hari Raya!

Oh yes yes... Talked to Pa ytd, hehe... seems that MOsT likely i get to go the RHCP concert. YAY!!! *takes out pom poms* hehehe.. third day of raya~ After the concert, i'm anticipating for Lin to come back frm Aussie so that we can go clubbing! Mis clubbing wid her man... Planning on trying out Insomnia. Maria (my junior from Adventure Club in TP) was raving abt it when i met her during one gathering last week...

Didn't sahur this morning. Tummy feeling queasy... Feel like puking now... bleah... i hope my tum settles...

2002-11-15T18:05:00.000-08:00

BTW. Where's everyone? The usual peeps that i visit daily dun seem to be updating... why huh? hmmmmm.... *rubs chin*

2002-11-15T18:04:00.000-08:00

Morning morning.... today's SAT!!! Am at work. trying to figure out what things to clear. and how to figure out some accounts shite. Sigh. I've actually figured out the prob? but... i'm just trying to figure out a way to put it down in black & white so that my boss can understand. Sigh. I hate this job....

Ok. i think ive mentioned that countless of times ever since i've had this blog... BUT ITS F&^*in true! urgh... My mind is now tuned to the "Find Job Section"....

2002-11-14T17:46:00.000-08:00

GOoooOOOooOOOooOOOoOOOoooood MOooOOoOooOOoorrrrrrrnnnnnning SinGApore!!!
*does litle tap dance and bounces ard room*

2002-11-14T00:55:00.000-08:00

yowzer! i've never made so many posts in a day!!

2002-11-14T00:39:00.000-08:00

Just linked up Sixty-Nine, Xedi, Mark, Sion and dk.

Yes... i am that free at work...

2002-11-14T00:33:00.000-08:00

MY TAG BOARD'S DOWN!!!!! omigawdomigawdomigawd! all of a sudden i have this feeling that taggy is my other source to the outside world. it's like my second hp to keep in touch wid other bloggers out there. sigh... just wait patiently and we'll see. i think i'm just goin nuts over nuthin.

Going JB this sun. Just cfmed with Azhar. Gotta remember to tell mom. Take a read at this. And i'd like your comments, if and WHEN i can figure out why my comment board refuses to be up.... sheesh...

Insight of the Week
You've heard it many times before: Forgive and forget. Well, research shows that forgiveness really is the best medicine to heal hurt feelings.

Has a friend flaked out on plans with you? A significant other said an unkind word to you? A stranger bumped into you on the bus? If you hold your breath and wait for the apology you think you want, you actually might end up fanning the flames and feeling worse about the situation.

Instead of stewing about it 'til steam comes out of your ears, embrace forgiveness. You'll see a positive impact both on your mind and body. You'll find that your blood pressure and heart rate will decrease and your outlook on life will be a lot rosier. You'll feel happier and physically more healthy.

On the flip side of things, be sure to make your own apologies when you misstep, and try to communicate, then forgive and forget other's missteps. And above all, remember: We're all human!

2002-11-13T21:18:00.000-08:00

Am bored in the office. Did test from emode. Here they are... =P

This was from the InkBlot Test:

juliah, your unconscious mind is driven most by Peace

You are driven by a higher purpose than most people. You have a deeply-rooted desire to facilitate peacefulness in the world. Whether through subtle interactions with love ones, or through getting involved in social causes, it is important to you to influence the world.

You are driven by a desire to encourage others to think about the positive side of things instead of focusing on the negative. The reason your unconscious is consumed by this might stem from an innate fear of war and turmoil. Thus, to avoid that uncomfortable place for you, your unconscious seeks out the peace in your environment.

Usually, the thing that underlies this unconscious drive is a deep respect for humankind. You care about the future of the world, even beyond your own involvement in it. As a result, your personal integrity acts as a surrogate for your deeper drive toward peace and guides you in daily life towards decisions that are respectful toward yourself and others.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Peace, there is much more to who you are at your core.

This was the Gillette Goddess Groove test:

Chart Toppin' Pop

Hey, Chart Toppin' Knock-Out, your goddess groove is like the Top-40 charts: you're always a favorite with the crowds whether you try to be or not. People are drawn to you because you're not afraid to state your opinion, ask questions about the world around you, and even make a fool out of yourself — if it'll cheer up a good friend or family member.

You're a trusted addition to any gathering, and people want to hear what you have to say. Your advice is like that catchy tune that stays in their heads for days. You're the true original — often imitated, but never duplicated. If others pick up on your popular style, just try to remember to take it as flattery. After all, you were their source of inspiration.

Your creativity seems to know no bounds — it has a head-bobbing groove that lends a noticeable flair to the artist inside. Whether it's music, painting or photography, you're always looking for another outlet. It doesn't matter where you go — leave it to your family and close friends to provide the familiar hook that always keeps you grounded. You have what it takes
to reach your goals in life, so get ready to ride your goddess groove to the top of the charts.

And Lastly, the Gillette Goddess Identity test:

Angel

Just like the haloed and winged guardians of good, you truly have a heart of gold, sweet Angel. Whenever there's a chance to pitch in, save the day or just make life easier for the people around you, you're the one for the job.

You don't just jump in without planning — you use your angelic head to figure out how to do things right the first time, like only the most dependable goddesses can. Whether brainstorming a new solution to a problem, planning a surprise party for your parents, or lending your friends a wing to cry on, you've got the right instincts, so follow them whenever you can. As natural as it is for you to take care of the people around you, don't forget to treat yourself right, too. The best friendships, and loves, of a lifetime tend to blossom when you become your own guardian angel.

So don't listen to those who say nice girls finish last. People have always seen you as a goddess of thoughtfulness and good intentions, and it hasn't slowed you down a bit. All in all, Angel, you've got it made with your glowing attitude and ability to see from on high. So get out there and change the world!

2002-11-13T18:54:00.000-08:00

Why isn't my comment sys workin????

2002-11-12T20:40:00.000-08:00

LInked up Bekki Kay. Interesting stuff she's got there... hope she con'ts posting more.. And do visit Lipglossy, she's got some pretty cool animations. Kinda like the "pochong" one.. or The Adventures of The Jumping Sweet...

Hyaks...

2002-11-12T20:36:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine told me this on sunday, buti couldn't really catch on. Then saw this on [k]'s site.... wah liaoz....

"do you know that while malaysia sells raw water to singapore at 3sen per 1000 gallon, singapore sells it back to malaysia at 50sen per 1000 gallon. the MALAYSIAN government sells it to the johoreans at RM3.95 per thousand gallon. the cost of treating THIER raw water is RM2.40, and yes the SINGAPORE government is subsidising RM1.90... now why was that never said by THEM.. no this is not national education, i was never very much with the singapore government on it, but this is just showing how irritatingly ***********Y$^$# some pple are"

and i agree with him on the last part. hpmh *crosses arms*

2002-11-12T18:42:00.000-08:00

i've got an issue. i've got a crush. yeah its normal. and the issue is not cuz i'm attached with my wonderful darling; but. well. he's over in Hawaii & ... well... he's GAY. hmmm... dun ask me why or how it happened. But i just sorta realized it mon. After a pretty weird dream. =|

Told my baby bout it. He's cool bout it, but i mean, the guy's in Hawaii & Gay, so i dun think he should be worried rite? and it ain't as if i'm gonna run over there... i'm not that nuts & that loaded with $$ on hand...

the nice thing is, its like those crushes that u had in school whereby u noe he's name and who he is and all, and yet he doesn't really noe u... and u are just looking at him from afar. Yeah u exchange words and all. but. well. that's it. and. he's gay. he's not THAT cute, but well, i dunnoe, its like it G R O W S on you ya noe?

heez.... so farnie...

2002-11-11T22:07:00.000-08:00

stinkin migraines... *UUURRRGGGGHHHHHH* i HATE migraines/tension headaches/ wateva the layman's term is. I got hit with one almost EVERY darn day. sheesh! *shakes head* it hurts like mad, i'm irritated at everyone, and i've gotta take painkillers. Panadol. And i take 'em so frequently, that the normal one doesn't work anymore. Only Panadol EXTRA. and 2 somemore.... bleah.... i hope i'm not immune to it any time soon... dunnoe wat else to take if so.

am blogging frm work. wats new. sent my resume to darling fren Joses. There's a job opening at her place. Wonder if i'll get an interview. Told me that there's a lotta unpaid OT tho. But frm wat i heard, if u are working as an exec, its the norm. Hmphs... hopefully i can deal with that norm.

Kai Yun ( buddy frm TP ) is working part-time at Bel-Air too! She's in NIE but decided to get extra cash... Heez... was almost a year back, that i was in contact with BelAir, my fren's ex-boyfren was in the biz and introed me to the whole BelAir culture. However due to a lack of cash and anyway, i was pretty doubtful bout whether i should get in the whole MLM rage.

Do you know how many MLM's are coming up? Its freaking scary noe?? *shudders* There's also always a chance where people say that their corporation is under MLM but they are actually a Pyramid structure. Interesting read. hmmm.... *rubs chin*

Aight then. Gotta go. Just needed a little break frm work. Am listening to Gold 90Fm. Listening to Linda Ronstand and James Ingram "Somewhere Out There" now... Miss the cartoon. An American Tail ( 1986 )

hmmmm..... I'm taking a real liking to this station.... =)

2002-11-10T18:45:00.000-08:00

ok all...

i'm... well. FINE. just hoping that my mood swings dun start up again. reread my entries and i think i sounded pretty darn scary. all's fine and well with me and my dear... yeah yeah... i noe u understand dear. just that i'm a blockhead who sometimes just refuses to admit it.

hmph.

ok lah.

hope to be having better days.... maybe i'm just short on vitB6. Am actually taking this product Zinc Magnesium Aspartate from GNC, hopefully it'll help. Read up on the individual properties. Not bad lah. But most importantly is if it can help with the horrible mood swings.

Another product i'm trying is the Triflex Effervescent. A serious requirement if you have banged joints like me. Too much sports and not enough stretching that leads to sprained ankles and inflamed kness...

Aight then. And to isk> thks for the concern ya? >hugs<

2002-11-10T01:16:00.000-08:00

told ya that i ain't gonna call ya. cuz of everything. this.

i'm totally feeling like i'm falling apart. i feel

this

small rite now.
there's a whole chunk of emotions going within me and i feel wasted. ashamed. foolish. dumb. angry. frustrated. lethargic. unappreciative. misunderstood. bleak. lost. confused. the weather today is describes what i've been feeling the whole day. dark, rainy, thunder, lightning, rain. moody. moody. moody.

i'm sorry that i posted that up. i'm sorry that i was so insensitive. i'm just a pile of nerves rite now. i'm feeling like there's two of me rite now. fighting over what to do. arguments within myself. that i just can't sort. apologies made and i meant to accept. but words that come outta the trap just makes things worse. i feel like we are fooling ourselves sometimes. thinking that we can get things thru. are we?

i totally feel like i'm falling apart. like a time bomb that's ticking away and gonna blow up soon. seriously. i wanna smoke nw. yeah, i noe u hate it. but that's what i feel like doing rite now. positive stuff. help me.

i noe u are trying to make things better. but. i really can't explain to you or myself either bout why i'm just so adamant bout reacting in this manner. Seriously, if there was a handbook or manual that i could give u to tune my brain... i would. i'd lock it up in a safe or something so that it won't get lost.

my brain's gotta a whole load of traffic that its so jammed up there. there's all the honking, the assholes who just wanna road hog, and there doesn't seem to be any distinct direction to move. beeeeeeeeeepbeeeeeeeeeeeepbeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm in a state of dangerously low self -esteem moment rite now. to those reading this and noe us, he's the greatest thing that has EVER happened to me. He has NEVER been nasty or deprived me of anything other than showering me with the best affections and love that i have ever had.... *sigh* i feel like i'm creating my own death scene in this relationship with my own hands. stabbing my ownself in the back w/o even realising it. heh. dumbass.

i noe i'm depressed. i noe i've been a total fool and a bitch. i noe i've an ego

THIS

big. i noe that i always wanna win even tho i don't admit it. and i do noe that DO LOVE YOU. i just want u to hold me and say that no matter what. all's ok. and yet, i kinda find it hard for u to do that cuz i've hurt u so much. i've a mouth that spout things which i'll regret the second it comes outta my trap. and i dunnoe what else. yeah. change. change. change. change. FUCKIN CHANGE.

lenny told me that i've got a violent personality. yeah. if i can't control myself well and i'm too frustrated, i'll hit things. anything. the wall, the door, watever. that's my angry half. i'm still not sure how to go about the controlling your anger area.... sheesh. still looking out fer it...

2002-11-09T10:12:00.000-08:00

Killer Anger Stuff

Hyaks. Hiya all. I hope i didn't scare too many people away with regards to my entry "LUNCHTIME" on the 08.11.02.
Got a kick outta reading a comment frm lenz on kiss the gurls.

What can i say? I was having a seriously bad PMS mood swing period. Just damn bad. Sometimes i wonder if i'm the only prson sufferin frm this. you noe? i pity my baby sometimes. That he's gotta take all this crap. & the sweetest thing bout him is that tho he takes the brunt of it all, he actually understands this whole PMS thingy even tho he hates it.... sigh...

too sleepy to go on further. gonna go sleep. nitez.

2002-11-08T19:21:00.000-08:00

FrenzFrenzFrenz

Ok. To all, @ last i've linked up people whom i should have a long time ago. And i'm referring to peeps like Rainia & Eugenia. =) hiya ladies!!!! long time no hear frm all of ya!

2002-11-08T18:44:00.000-08:00

New Look BAybeh!!

WOOOHOOOO!!!!!! heehehee.... thx loads lenny baby!!! muakz muakz muakz!!! belanja you drink laH!!! muahahahahhahaha!!!!! very nice. i like the colour... and the pic of course... mauahahahaha.... belongs to jordi xxx... stil can't remember his last name... okok... i'll stop here.

p.s: TAGBOARD not up yet, so to all my other visitors, hang on yeah! gonna figure out how to put up the comment section.

2002-11-07T18:18:00.000-08:00

Job Search

With regards to the previous post, Juliah is my name. and me calling meself an idiot is cuz, ytd, i typed outta a whole chunk of stuff to post, and my clever self clicked on the Sign Out button instead of the Post & Publish button...

thus, up with the line Juliah's an idiot

alrite now. seems that my boss is getting brainless and his stupidity level has upped a few more notches. That's as far as i would go on this issue. and with that, it explains my job title.

Been job seraching the past few days, papers and stuff, hoping to find good jobs. Sigh, dun wanna be picky but cuz of family financial situation, i'd really wanna get a job that pays $1.5k and abve mthly. Well. We'll see.... Just want mom to get back to work so that i can get outta here.

My fren who went to London doesn't seem to be back yet, hasn't been replying my msgs, Azhar's pal hasn't replied bout the part time teaching job... bleeeaaaaaahhhhhh..... so xianz... sometimes i just wish that i can get married to a rich hubby, who obviously loves me as much as i do, and HOLD UP!! i don't mean to be a tai-tai or anywhere that line... just that, i'd love to have a FINANCIALLY STABLE hunny, so that i'm able to do stuffs that i wanna do w/o worrying about financial strapping.

Things i wanna do? Well, travel and see the world obviously, but also do stuff like being a camp instructor, do volunteer work, going overseas and doing volunteer stuff, learn how to cook, bake.... part-time staff.... i dunnoe... it seems like the things that i wanna do dun pay much.. ya noe? that's why sometimes i just wish for the "marry a FINANCIALLY STABLE hunny" part.... but of course, me being a part-time feminist, i can't stand having bills paid by someone else and i'm not. So, no matter what, i do wanna work. Sigh. When your family's in debt, money is always an issue no matter how much you don't wanna think abt it....

Ok. K I C K......O U T!!!!!!! the depressing bucket... and lets have a new one filled with positive suff! ( Azhar's gonna love this line =P) anyways, trying my best to make the best of stuff, which i believe everyone should also, when u face lousy issues. Oh yeah! Still haven't got into the penggerang story... o well. Read up frm lenny's blog. She laid it out quite nicely.... so go READ!!

BTW. Lenny is so nice as to help me redesign my blog, but some errors occurred when she sent it out to me. so. i also have not seen it yet. let's wait patiently the next few days aight??
*whistles and twiddles thumbs*

2002-11-06T01:23:00.000-08:00

Juliah's an idiot

2002-10-31T01:05:00.000-08:00

What's Your Best Quality?

juliah, your best quality shines through in how Good a Communicator you are!

The fact that you're great at expressing yourself and can be at your best when articulating your ideas or communicating with others really draws people to you! But that's not the only thing. Your answers on the test indicate you're a caring and considerate person who is typically very loving, as well. You are a smart person who is more able to understand complex concepts than many other people are, too.

In all, there are 15 qualities that help define you when you're at your best. Those are the traits potential employers, friends, and partners look for in you. What makes you unique is your particular distribution of those 15 qualities.

We've found that your particular combination of qualities is rare — only 3 in 10,000 people share the same general mix of traits. Those are great odds if you're trying to show a potential employer, colleague, friend, or date why you're exactly the right person for them.

2002-10-30T22:13:00.000-08:00

Me Personality Type...

Got this off Elaine's site....

wo shi ESFJ

ESFJs are outgoing, sociable, practical and organized. They pride themselves on their reflexive skills to harmonize, entertain and nurture others. Duty, personal service, manners and social order come second-nature to this type.

Warm, friendly and naturally talented at working with others and organizing people and events, ESFJs make excellent salespeople, health care providers, teachers, homemakers and hosts. They work well as club and committee members, and their type numbers conspicuously among volunteer, church, charitable, social and civic organizations.

Traditional, conservative and loyal, ESFJs work hard, devoting their time and energy to family and friends. This caring type has little tolerance for those whose actions or omissions hurt others' feelings, and they may let the offender know!

Although ESFJs derive personal satisfaction from helping others, they need verbal and tangible strokes of appreciation for their good work. When they do not receive the kind of recognition and reciprocation they feel is due, ESFJs may suffer attacks of righteous indignation.

To my darling close buds... is this me? Hehehe... seems pretty true tho'. i knew i was a pple person... DEAR! this explains why i love my job @ Billy Bombers...

this line => "When they do not receive the kind of recognition and reciprocation they feel is due, ESFJs may suffer attacks of righteous indignation" is so me.... ahahahhaha.... so start heaping the praises when i've done something rite... =p

muahahhahaha......

2002-10-29T22:39:00.000-08:00

Hear ye Hear ye....

CAUTION: this entry contains lotsa vulgarities and mood swings. not for those easily offended.

yes yes... haven't been blogging as R E G U L A R L Y as i hoped. OK COLIN. HEARD YA. No i didn't elope or migrate to anywhere tho' i'd REALLY love too... Krabi... Samui... Redang... sigh... a week. then get back to this fuckin dreary mind sucking paper chaser of an environment.

*cross arms*

hmph.

okok.

i'm like, not in the greatest of moods today. Had a great tongue lashing frm a customer.... i feel fucking depressed. Had a fucked up major dunnoe-why-i-did-it quarrel wid my baby on mon... my fucking breasts are sore...i'm having fuckin costipation...HEY I CAN"T SHIT! i've got a runny nose EVERYdamnDAY. i wake up sore all over & even after slepping for EIGHT freaking hrs i'm still DEAD TIRED!

i'm having damn bad mood swings and YES i want the whole world to KNOW! argh!!

again, i feel so pissed wid my colleague sometimes, it so darn irritating! eessshhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

breathe juliah... breathe.... hmmmmmmwhoooooooohmmmmmmwhooooooooohmmmmmmmwhoooooooooo......

ok... once again. sorry all. i know this is a freakingly depressing piece.

THE END

2002-10-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

Smallville... hmmm....

been reading excerpts of Elaine's blog and have seen the word smallville. It kinda rings a bell sumwh but i couldn't really recall where.. or what.

Then this morning on the bus to work, tvmobile was showing "Just for Laughs", during the adverts, there was this catch phrase "Before Lois Lane... there was..." and i can't remember who...

Ok. So now i'm wondering, wat the heck is this show abt? its on @ 11pm but i'm not sure on wat date or when its on... hiya. heven't been really catching up on mvies... tv series.. etc.

Work is really like a piece of crap. Sumtimes i REALLY...

REALLY

can't stand my colleague. Urgh. DUn wanna go too much into details. She's nice and all, but when SHE gets pissed off... she gets on EVERYONE'S nerves. and thus THE bitch has emerged... sianz man... dammn sianz...

2002-10-22T02:47:00.000-07:00

ok ok..... hiya....

ello ello... yes i noe... haven't been posting... sorie isk. else kena sound again huh... hehe... neways. i'm real bored at work. been surfing around but haven't been blogging. checked out a lotta others blogs. heh. seem to have uncovered a lotta tp peeps. well. firstly, a big HARLOWS to all who paid me a visit. things seem to be heating up in here... another thing that has been on my mind is my layout.

maybe that's one of tha reason that i've not been blogging. and yes lenny... *rolls eyes* it IS becoming an eyesore... and i guess maybe that's what's keeping me away frm blogging. and after seeing so many really wonderful blog layouts, i'm just sooooOOOOooooo jealous. *bleah*

and that lament brings me to this:
#1: i still owe isk some links.
#2: i still owe lenny pics.

hiya. OKOK... i will. i'm just doing the age old sin of P R O C R A S T I N A T I N G.....

fine fine.

and once again, pls tk note of the earlier post below. thanks.

that's it. leaning office in ten minutes!

2002-10-21T19:54:00.000-07:00

Advert frm KissTheGurls

hi fellow bloggers,

i was thinking of opening up our circle, and roping you guys into this cutesie lil' blog of ours. i havn't consult my other gurls, but i think they don't mind having more company. so if you're interested in joining us, please email to ellsielen@get-born-again.org and i'll do the necessary stuff to get you in.

You can talk about almost anything at all. we normally blog about events, outings, and other misc. things like web-site design, etc. strictly no hate, anti and stuff like that. if you're keen in reconstructing this website, you're welcome to do so, after i do a quality check. heh. so let me know. email me =)

love, ellsie.
jotted by ellsie len at 12:52 AM

to my fellow readers... if interested, pls do apply to the above personnel. We are looking for people of all race, language or religion. We also have no discrimination against anyone who are IT-illiterate... ( that's me lah! =P )

So do apply if interested. Thank you.

2002-10-18T05:43:00.000-07:00

i'm a CAREBEAR!!!

What 80's Cartoon Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

i'm a total cartoon buff. some cartoons that i can still remember as a kiddo was, the above, CareBears ( Care Bear Stare! 5,4,3,2,1! ), Strawberry Shortcake ( tho i dun remember much of the cartoon, but i must have loved her cuz i had a birthday cake of her as well as THE dress when i celebrated my ... 4th (?) birthday ), Transformers ( my darling's favourite ), errr.... SMURFS!! How can anyone forget these blue ... er... SMURFS!? wat else? i remember Gummy Bears, the jumping bears who jump once they drink berry juice... erm... wat else huh? as for the present, i'm totally in love with the RUGRATS. Tho my boyfriend just hates them =p

can't remember what other cartoons... but the above are just my favs. would love to stay in on saturdays, with a big bowl of banana nut crunch, a glass of orange juice and just sit in front of the tv just after i wake up, switch on arts central ( or kids central on weekends ) and just watch cartoons.... sigh.... lovely weekend... THEN, head down to the beach for a nice tan, as well as a lovely day of canoeing... swimming... and just hangin out by the beach... ahhh.....

NOW. WHEN IS THAT GOING TO HAPPEN? *crosses arms*

sigh.... -_-

2002-10-16T20:18:00.000-07:00

urghurghurgh

okay. out came my first phleghm today. not much. but felt better. feel like those apek apek who goes *grraarrgh pui!* ( did i get that expression correct? =P ) yeah yeah *rolls eyes* i noe its gross.... BUT THATS JUST THE WAY IT IS PEEPS!

this ain't much good. i'm wheezing also. tink i need to see my family doc.... ok. still trying to get thru my book. Angela's Ashes. Its pretty good actually. But just can't seem to find the time to finish it. Was made into a movie if i remember correctly. Well, so far that's abt it. Most prolly be facing the shears today. Dunnoe whether i'd be going short or leave it this length... heez... timeout. back to work...

ps. ISK! sorrie arh... haven't been able to put up the yahoo link that i mentioned in your blog. But once i find it i'll post it up yeah! solie!!!

2002-10-15T20:17:00.000-07:00

coughcough ahem coughcoughcough .... gag....

yelch! phleghm ( did i spell that correctly? ).... coming outta ma nose... and soon to come outta ma chest... yelch *sticks tongue*

was on mc for the past two days. came to work on mon... went back to see the doc. was so sleepy, slept at the clinic. how glam huh? my head lolling away... well. AT LEAST i don't drool... waited for a tiresome hr 'fer gg in to see my smiley doc at tampines.
am wishing to be hme rite now... more days for mc... am coughing my lungs out man... wtf.

will con't later... gotta work

WTF!!! i typed a long piece and then it jsut disappeared! WTF!!!! *kicks pc*

2002-10-12T00:27:00.000-07:00

8 Women

Gonna be watching this later. Wid Lenz & Maryam. Literally anticipating it... urgh... will get down wid the reviews tmr. After that we'd be checking out the esplanade. kinda like the opening today. Hope to catch colin. So its another day out wid the girls and my baby... the sun's out. pretty hot. hope everything else will be cool instead. can't wait for tonite! PLUS! be seeing the merlion at its new home... yay!!

2002-10-09T19:33:00.000-07:00

.R e d a n g . S a m u i . K r a b i .

PLaces to go... aarrrrgghhhh..... *pulls hair/checks account* i wanna go!!!!

bintan was lovely, but after checking raquiem's site? AIYO.... buay tahan man... seeing the redang pics lagie gianz.... must contact him bout the rates and all... so how baby & ellsie? any chance of us gg there? the water is bEEeeEEUUtiFUL!!!!

2002-10-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

"pool baby pool.... argh...."

yummy... got to do lotsa baby biting today... frustrated lovely bites.... yumz *licks lips*

dinner was at this place called es Teller @ joo chiat. had the fried chickn set. $4/- but was darn worth it. the ayam HAD MEAT! KFC will lose out in the meat section. I mean, WATSSUP wid KFC nowadays? the price is rocketing, yet the damn chix is gettin smaller & skinnier! wat? they're breeding anorexic chix or wat? .... well, back to es teller. they've got this drink, es teller, which is something like ice kachang (mountain of finely shredded ice with syrup and condensed milk poured over it. there's sweet corn, red bean... and some other stuff at the base. a real COOLER for hot sunny days, like in s'pore... ), BUT, its got avocado, jackfruit & coconut flesh, sliced thinly as the base. The shiok part is the condensed milk. its just so thick & different frm wat we use locally... yummy... the other nice one is the drink. ~~i forgot the name~~in bahasa its called "SODA GEMBIRA" or Happy Soda, ~~but~~ its actually condensed milk wid cherryade. its REAL sinful but totally delicious.... *salivating*

oh well. on a really full tummy, off to parkway we went wh we played pool.... i'm just so darned inconsistent. hiya. just need more practice.... gonna miss my darling, cuz gotta cut down on meeting up as he's havin he's exams soon. kampatei darling!! *MMUuuAkz*

2002-10-08T23:26:00.000-07:00

"i got u now baby....."

i keep hearing this song by shaeik haikel & annabelle francis, been meaning to either get it d/led or just get the damn album... i love the rhythm of this song! Lovely.... its just sooOooOoo G R O O V Y BAYyBeh! Some notable local talents.

Personally, i think the two of 'em make a really cute couple. And shaeik haikel lost a lotta wt man! muz be under annabelle's watchful eye... heh.... wish them all the best in their new life together...

ISK!!! Change the name pls! *bonks head* no minah minah ler..... *eyeballs straining*.... can u feel the stare......

2002-10-07T22:29:00.000-07:00

gimme the infnite INFINITE pinkness!

chanced upon this site => infinitepink. I like the way she kept the page very simple. the links are easy to navigate. the fonts are pretty cute too. but the links tend not to link back directly to her page. but i find this a very "perk-me-up" kinda blog to read.

2002-10-06T05:07:00.000-07:00

Gompangs, rebanas.... & lotsa UnderStanding....

Went to Norazhar's wedding just now. He's Azhar's secondary school bud. Met him for the first time. Hears bout him endlessly. Didn't getta talk. Just saw lotsa nervous smiles, as well as a cramped face frm too much smiling as he sat on the little set up stage. His wife looked very sweet. Very fair.... well. Never met her either. Neither did Azhar. First time he's meeting her today... I find tt kinda funny....

Well. Had a tiff again. Small stuff again. What's new. Will not delve into the whole situation. Just trying to reel myself outta the fucked up feelings that i'm having rite now... sigh. understanding understanding understanding. LOTS of that.

Yesterday was Amara nite. WAY COOL PLACE. Kudos to Maryam. Personally, i preferred the lounge area. The duet who performed were damn good. The singer was very personal, with the way she interacted with the crowd during and AFTER her sets. PLUS, she had a very versatile voice. Sang a couple of our fav tunes.

Price is reasonable, service was good, lovely decor, nice plush sofas, with cushions thrown in, and pretty cheap drinks. This is gonna be one of my fav haunts to chill and just hang out with frens.

The dance floor is not bad too. The crowd there seems to be very eclectic. But i like the fact that there is a good mix of colors. Races. There wasn't a "ONE RACE ONLY" scenario, nor were there much minahs and mats. Good thing.

Now we are like sourcing for places to club. Would love to find a place that plays good RnB & Hip-Hop, w/o the cliched Mat & Minah hip-hop wannabes. Its such a total turn off. Than there'd seem to be this sudden influx of Malays in that particular club, which. Seriously. Can get pretty... boring. I am not against these people for dressing up the way they do nor despise them for it but, it just that they can get so... "over the top". It gets too much sometimes... well. If anyone has recommendations. Do feel free to leave a note on the tagboard.

Shoulder aches like mad. FUCK.

2002-10-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's FRIDAEEEEEEEE~~~~

weeeeeEEEeeeeehhhHhhhHHheEeeee.... its fridAY!!! TMR'S SAT =) then sun =| then mon =( yet again... and the cycle goes onandonandon.... hiya...

dunneo if goin down to Amara tmr. Maryam's says its kinda loungy yet there's a dance floor too. Supposedly jazzy i guess. Not too sure. Will give more updates soon.. Must recci mah... Going to mah baby's place tmr. Gonna masak for him. Maybe make epok2 (curry puffs) tmr... and spaghetti or fried macaroni... hehe... see how lah.

Hiya. He's exam's on the 17th & 21st. Seems pretty nervous bout it. Really hope he does well. gotta be rEAaally patient and reasonable. Miss him oreadi... sigh. Meeting the monkeys today. Mamak & Yusri. My sec school buds. Get all tikcled pink by them yet again. Gonna play pool too. Just the normal stuff. Then talk a lotta cock.

Sun Azhar's close fren gettin married. Norazhar. Never met him. BUt heard SO much bout him. Have u ever had that kinda experience. And when u meet that person. U feel like u have known so much bout that person, but in actual fact u dun really...

Do i make sense? Aiyah. Doesn't matter.

It's F>R>I>D>A>Y!!!!!!!!!!!!

*waves poms poms*

2002-10-02T22:55:00.000-07:00

Kinky wink wink...

What's *Your* Sex Sign?

2002-10-02T22:29:00.000-07:00

Relief.... wipes sweat...

not totally tho'.... can't really say online wat it is lah... can't form the words... my brains stuttering... ugh..ah... er... hiya.. give up.

2002-10-02T02:17:00.000-07:00

Masak Apa?

I dunnoe if its cuz i'm just so bored or what. but. i just have this sudden urge to start cooking. My colleagues are like busy.... and here i am.. *wiggling fingers* typing away.. surfing the net for recipes.. printing them out..with a noisy printer *ear ringing* ....

o well. its not that they really bother, cuz our paths dun really overlap each other? so they dun really mind lah.

just cooked up one dish ytd. It's called "Ayam Bali" or "Bali Chicken". Its base is tomato sauce, so its sourish, but not too much. Comments received were:

mom: "too salty lah girl"
me: izzit??

bro: "ok lah"
me: upon persistence...

bro: "ok lah... wat else u want me to say?... ok lah"
me:upon more persistence...

bro: " ok lah... sauce... k... not bad... ayam like still not fully cooked..."
me: say earlier lah...

granma: " should put more chilli... make the dish look nicer... taste spicier..."
me: yah hor...

baby: " wah, not bad leh dear... "
me: oh... hehe... okie =)

so now, i'm just collecting recipes frm this site => MASAK APA, anyone intersted cantake a look BUT *cautioncaution* its in malay ok? well... anyone with nice recipe sites to recommend.. learning to cook up a storm! hehe...

lenz: teach me how to cook steak ah? the first time i tried almost cao ta... hehe...

2002-10-01T23:46:00.000-07:00

Non Compos Mentis

and i have changed my name....

2002-10-01T23:24:00.000-07:00

Green Eyed Monster

Was reading lenz's recent entry, she mentioned abt, having the hits yet nobody commenting. Well, i felt the same way too. Just that for me, I did not really have the hits... so sad... nobody's visiting my blog... maybe its my incoherent nonsensical ramblings... and i felt so...

F.x.x.x.E.D.U.P.

Seeing other fren'z blogs and u see others commenting on their blogs/entries, and there's a pang of jealousy ya knoe... *stabs heart*

HOWEVER, hiya. *stab stab* Come to think of it.

THis is FOR ME! MYSELF! & I! @ least i noe my baby comes in to visit.... and there's always the gurls, as well as darling colin k...

I'm like NOT totally over it YET *stab stab stab*.... but i'm trying. thus, not planning to put up any counters anymore. Used to have em last time. And soon i'll *stab stab stab stab* the Green Eyed Monster... he he he...

*calm smile*

2002-10-01T01:59:00.000-07:00

"Be True to Thine Self"

Chanced on this blog... read this particular entry.... tugged at my heartstrings.... *sobsob*

Man, i'm such a crybaby...

2002-09-30T21:15:00.000-07:00

Switching lanes

I'm dying to get outta this damn office. My brain cells are rotting and i feel like a walking corpse.

SECOND HAND SMOKE SUX!

urgh. Really need to get outta here... but Mom is totally not ready to get back to work, and i wonder if i should just damn quit.

2002-09-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

Lovely homes ....

Kiss the Gurls, Ellsie & Maryam's online "homes" have been totally revamped!! And they are BEEUUTIFUULL!! Ok... i'm in need of a total consultation right now, and i have to give Lenz TOTAL CREDIT for all she's done! Lovely girl! *pat on back* & a big *muaks*

*whispers* gonna be real nice to her so she'd help me wid my renovation too... hehe...

once again... for the world to hear.... *clears throat* ahem.

WORK SUX!

ThAnK yOu... *bows*

2002-09-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

CHANGELING....

gonna change my blog name. its getting pretty lame. yeah. i tot it up. but... couldn't think of anything. All felt when i was about to blog is THAT. Silence that is screaming inside of me... some pent up energy.... gotta figure out a snazzier title. i think. heh. been pretty bz... well.. KINDA.

Work is really a total bore... sigh. but gotta finish up all these shitz... xianzxianzxianzxianz

2002-09-27T00:39:00.000-07:00

Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

hmmm.... interesting...
but pic can't load, muz save onj site...

2002-09-26T22:54:00.000-07:00

"I'm singing in the rain...."

Rain rain rain rain rain. since 9am. Why didn't it rain last nite.... can have a nice slumber...

Met Lifen & Fida ytd. Nice to have met up with her... Had a nice talk. Faridah even. Still contemplating on whether i wanna join her.
DTD Sales. No basic. Based on commision only. No CPF. Azhar gave me his loads of comments. But i know tt he'll let me do it if i want to. Just that the job is pretty time consuming. 6 day work week. Off days normally weekdays. 1pm-9pm. or later.... time management man... MAJOR time management...

2002-09-25T23:30:00.000-07:00

All the little Miz....

Located a new site after some surfing... i LURVE their blog templates... guess i'd be renovating soon!! heh =)

2002-09-25T19:25:00.000-07:00

Depressed maniac...

Feeling pretty depressed, upset, worried, scared...